Racing for the finish at the National Champioship 50

We trained all year with the championships in mind. I tested the fitness of Alamahn and myself by going to a couple rides, but mostly training rides.
We started in the front and coming into the first vet check Alamahns pulse was the first to come down. I had no crew at the check and a fellow named Brad, who I had met at a previous ride and who also won 2nd in the FEI 100 Championship, saw us alone and offered his help. He also had a friend with him Dwayne, who was very interested in Alamahn and his bloodlines. I was a minute or so in the lead leaving the check but it wasn't long down the road when I hear the thunder of hooves behind me. The pace was faster the second loop, someone with a GPS said we averaged 19mph at times. We galloped downhill, uphill, it was mentioned that I set a fast pace, but nobody was slowing. Closing in on the lunch check I was the only gal in the group of three guys, mostly them in front, we came in you could tell, it looked like I had been running a bulldozer all day. Again, Alamahn pulsed down first giving me a 30sec lead. He felt great! Down right amazing and I took advantage of that........
I waited at the out timer and they counted down 5,4,3,2,1 and I left at a trot. It wasn't long when I hear hooves crashing on the rocks, happy to have company none the less, we discussed our situation. The other two riders got pulled at the check so it was down to me and Ken. " what's more important to you, first or best condition?" I ask.
" first" he says " and you?"
" best condition" I reply.
We didn't slow down but rode together and talked about our horses. Almahan loved the pace and his horse seemed at home.
Then I start thinking, that Alamahn feels great, I trained all year, this pace is fast but he's ready, hasn't takin a bad step, drank and ate like always, pulling and pulling the reins of my gag bridle.
So I ask, " How do you feel about a tie?"
I thought since we rode neck and neck all day it might be cool.
"No I want first today" he says.
Fair enough, this is the championships.
" How about a race to the finish?" I ask
" Then I'll leave you now" he says.
Not much was said after that but he did not leave us and I knew we were very close. I mention I thought we were close but he said " 6 miles or so"
That's when we see Brad on the side of the trail,
He asks Brad " How close to the finish?"
Brad, " About a mile."
That's when all hell broke lose and I made the choice to race.
We both drop our reins, he cuts in front of me right off, kicking rocks in Alamahns face. He's yelling at his horse to go, and he's pulling away. Then I remember the 90 degree turn off this trail to the finish and that's when he galloped full speed past it. I rated Alamahn and turned it like a barrel almost falling off at the creek crossing, I guess he ran into a tree and bloodied his nose. Missed the turn or not I hear him behind me urging his horse with his voice. The road opens up and we are neck and neck up to the finish line.
Alamahn has always wanted to go faster then I'm comfortable and it takes no encouraging. I look over to see his horse right with us and that's when I did it. I squeezed him with my legs to go faster and he did. I could here my crew screaming wildly, I knew we got it.
I don't know how Brad did it but he was there to hold Alamahn at the finish. My amazing crew and Dwyane ( who I hardly knew) rushed to help get Alamahns pulse down and cool him. He was very hot and excited.
Some how we were mistaken for an F.E.I rider and instead of an hour to pulse, we had 15 mins to do a CRI ( Cardio Recovery Index). He was 72 beats still to high for a completion which was 64 and there was more confusion about if this was for FEI or not and I was made to trot out. I was getting worried at this point because he wasn't getting the cool down he needed going in and out of the arena. We take him back out of the vetting area only to go back again a short time later, his pulse is still 68-72. Finally got everbody straightend out that we weren't FEI. Now we got about a 30 mins left to pulse for our completion. Alamahns pulse would not steady it would go to 60 then back up to 68 a good sign that he was stressed and needed electrolytes, which I had not given that day. Amazing people came to our aid, top riders who watched me grow up in this sport, I was out of my league and they showed me how it's done. They settled Alamahn but the damage was already done and with two minutes left we went to pulse and were 68.
I love the AERC rules I have always held and respected them for they are there to protect the horses, so I was pulled buy a panel of vets and we lost our first place. Feeling pretty stupid at this point, my horse is uncomfortable and shifting his weight on his feet. The vet who saw us recommened we see the treatment vet so we head straight there all other vitals are good but the pulse is still jumping. I pretty much curl up into a self loathing ball at this point and cry like the little unprepared, selfish, girl I was. He was treated in front of everybody, IV fluids dripping into his neck for a couple hours. His pulse finally drops to 48 which is his standard post ride pulse and he is released. His eyes are bright again and it all sinks in what I've done........
I've been at rides when people race to the finish and get pulled. I considered myself better then to put the welfare of my horse on the line to gain a win for myself. To finish IS to win and I gave that up for my own glory which was short lived. I do feel so stupid but I come away knowing I can change and the advice and support I received has been taking to heart.
Alamahn you gave your heart for me and I hope I can do you justice someday! Ed, Linda, Ginger, Travis my love, I can't begin to express the feelings in my heart for what you all did for me. Brad, Joyce and Dwayne I have so much to learn from you and am honored and still in awe that I had riders of your caliber come to my aid.
To all the motherly concerned riders who care, you will never see me at another ride without a helmet! I pledge, I promise to always learn from my mistakes and we live to ride another day!